Couple Therapy: Anger in the couple

Couple Therapy: Anger in the couple

Couple Therapy: Anger in the couple

When you start to feel that emotional escalation, that agitated, angry, angry state, it is vital that you are able to calm those negative thoughts, to avoid the consequences that almost all of us know can come. Next, I am going to make a list of thoughts and actions that can help us find that calm and lower the level of anger, anger, rage, discomfort ...


These suggestions are tools that can be effective for some people more than for others, each one knows how are their reactions and the patterns that follow. We can choose two or three and add the personal ones, and as always remember that in practice it is the question and in making permanent our progress, our personal development and therefore our well-being and happiness.

Motivational Quote Suggestions:

Nobody is right and nobody is wrong, everyone has their needs and their differences.
No matter what has been said, I know that I am a good person.
If I can keep my temper, I will be in control, and I will be able to handle my anger.
Stay away from blame and judgment.
Use neutral, general words.
Keep your tone of voice soft and calm, and your body language as neutral as possible.
Do not use sarcasm, ironies, or attacks, nor do you remove dirty laundry from the past.
Create a phrase that motivates you, like your own mantra, like, for example; "This can cost me xxxx (health, money, stability, work, relationship,)
Getting angry will not help, only good honest and sincere communication, from the heart, can reach the solution of the problem.
I am very upset, but I can go through with this.
By staying rational, objective, realistic, and distant, I will be able to control the escalation of anger.
Remember that the sense of humor is a therapy by itself, but do not trivialize the state of the other.
This time I screwed it up, but I'm going to think and practice how to handle these kinds of situations in the future.
How to handle your reaction when someone provokes you.

These are suggestions and you should add phrases that you know have been useful or could be useful.

-I will let the angry person process it alone and when I am with another attitude I will speak

-It's not going to get me angry, I'll show that I control the situation.

- That person is not going to manipulate me.

- It really is a shame that he behaves, that person has to suffer a lot, and he has to feel very unhappy with this type of behavior.

- That person is the first to suffer, I don't have to doubt myself or myself.

-The judgments, the "shoulds", the blame, are only valid to make the situation worse.

-I withdraw from the conversation, I will not let myself be manipulated and I will not let temperance walk away

-The weather will give a truce where to negotiate, after the storm.

Practical and effective exercise: Stress inoculation.

This exercise is a very easy practice to control anger and its escalation.

While we are calm, we start imagining with all kinds of details, auditory, visual, movement, visualizing one of the scenes that cause this unpleasant situation and its consequences. We give ourselves the opportunity to maintain our relaxed state, while watching, as if it were a movie, the situation from the outside, as an observer, without emotional charge. This relationship is very powerful and by practicing as many times as necessary, you can control unwanted situations.

Carmen Martinez - Psicóloga y Coaching

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Celia Martínez Psicóloga
Exeter, Devon, England,
United Kingdom

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