Couple Therapy: Develop Assertiveness and Self-Esteem

Couple Therapy: Develop Assertiveness and Self-Esteem

Couple Therapy: Develop Assertiveness and Self-Esteem

Develop Assertiveness and Self-Esteem

A healthy self-esteem is the basis for good communication, learning to say No or Yes with respect for oneself and for others is essential to give consistency to our life. Sometimes we communicate from submission or from aggressiveness, among other levels, simply because we learned it that way, that is why we must review our communication, and ask ourselves: From where do I want to communicate?

With healthy self-esteem and without assertiveness, we will be halfway to being complete, and we will be disrespectful, be it to ourselves or to others.

Assertiveness is made up of behaviors, thoughts, feelings linked to feeling legitimated and in possession of the same rights that everyone has.

How do I start to improve my self-esteem and assertiveness?

Accept the existence of behaviors, thoughts and feelings that you want to improve or change.
Identify specifically, better if we write it down, the consequences that our behaviors have on ourselves and on others.
Analyze and change behaviors for others that are more positive, objective and that make you feel good. These changes must be credible, measurable.
Be aware that changes are progressive, sometimes slow, and that practice makes them permanent.
Example:

Maria works in an office with a lot of people, every time she has something to say, someone takes her word away and she is speechless. Her feelings of isolation coupled with her low self-esteem make work feel like daily hell.

Ella maría she began to introduce day by day moments in which she addressed her companions briefly, enough so that in a period of time she could speak to everyone with confidence and respect.

However, the road is not easy, feelings and emotions appear such as fear that we have to overcome or let go of.
Practice makes our changes permanent. Let's get used to forming sentences that begin with: »I want» »I like» »I don't like» »I feel» positive phrases that reinforce your state, do not delay your responses to situations that you do not like, express your feelings by releasing them from within .

Carmen Martinez - Psicóloga y Coaching

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