Couple Therapy: Self-motivation and couple

Couple Therapy: Self-motivation and couple

Couple Therapy: Self-motivation and couple

Motivation is a process that helps you achieve your goal whatever it is.
Internal sources of Motivation can be:
• Your Values ​​(example: Freedom, Love, Commitment ...)
• Your Goals (example: create my own business, have a stable partner,)
• Your achievements (example: being fit, finishing an important course ...) and
• A What For (example: helping others in difficult times, working in an NGO,)

External Sources of Motivation can be:
• The physical environment (example: my home, my country, my office ...)
• The emotional environment (example: my partner, my children, my parents, friends ...)
• Leaders (example: Gandhi, etc ...)
• Flow activities: (example: writing, reading, composing, painting, dancing etc ... you do the best and you like it the most)

The 5 Attitudes for Self-Motivation

• Proactivity
• Confidence
• Passion
• Constancy
• Firmness

Self-Motivation in Sentimental Relationships
As in other areas of our life, there can be two great fears that block the flow of our sentimental relationships:

1. I'm not good enough
2. No one will love me

Work on your personal growth and you will see the positive impact on your relationships.
Steps to unify your personalities and enhance the one you want:

1. Discover your primary personality, what is the personality that you show to others. For example, introvert, extrovert, talkative, quiet, the one who gives, the one who receives, shy, etc. ...
2. Accept each personality as part of yourself as a positive part, do not fight against it, integrate it and seek its positive intention, in this way you can handle the challenges you have in front of you more easily and with more energy.
3. Discover the other side of your personality, for example, if you are a shy person, you should develop a more outgoing facet, for example, if you are a person who gives, you have to learn to be a person who knows how to receive as well.
4. Introduce into your daily routine this alignment of personalities practising in all the areas or in the most relevant areas of your daily life, enhancing the other side of the coin, see your most relevant personality trait and practice the opposite and complementary, for For example, if you are very talkative, enhance silence and active listening, or if you are a person who does not speak much potential to speak more and be more communicative.
5. Integrate these personality traits so that they become a permanent way of acting in your social and partner behaviours.

Action plan

1. Learn to manage frustration. Think positive.
2. Learn to manage rejection, it is a limiting belief.
3. Success is on the other side of frustration and rejection.
4. Learn to manage complacency.
5. Practice "giving more than you expect to receive."
6. Take the initiative and your own decisions and change your strategy when one does not work.
7. Practice active listening, open-ended questions, and empathy.
8. Strengthen your self-esteem and assertiveness. Trust your instincts.
9. A positive and open attitude in social relationships, without assumptions or cognitive distortions and with an emphasis on establishing satisfying and enriching relationships.

Carmen Martinez - Psicóloga y Coaching

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Celia Martínez Psicóloga
Exeter, Devon, England,
United Kingdom

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