Ending Self-sabotage

Ending Self-sabotage

Ending Self-sabotage
Many times what prevents us from having what we want in life is our size, BUT. Pain is inevitable, finally, it touches us all. Suffering, however, is optional. Our, BUT is that comfortable excuse we rest on when we believe that there is nothing more we can do to solve our challenges or achieve our goals or fix our mistakes.

Does any of this sound familiar?
Sure, I'd like to change, BUT....
• I am too old / too young
• I am too short / too tall
• I am too fat / too thin
• I am not good-looking/handsome enough
• I am not smart enough
• I come from a broken home
• I have a learning disability
Most people lean on their "BUTS" for one of three reasons.
1. They really believe that their, "BUT" is holding them back. They literally cannot move.
2. Get off your, BUT it is too big a risk. It is easier to be in the unhappy state that you are used to than to risk it to feel more fulfilled and happy.
3. They are involved in a mixture of reasons 1 and 2. They are partially blind to believe that their, “BUT” can hold them forever, plus it is easier for them to maintain the status quo than to see what would happen if they tried to change it.
The sad truth is the more you feel in your "BUT", the weaker you become. If you never use your muscles, they eventually atrophy. You may be frozen in that place of fear, excuses or insecurity, and it is getting harder and harder to get up. As long as you are stuck in your, "BUT", you will never go after what you really want in life. You may be able to see what you want, but always be out of reach.
Suggestions to beat your "Buts":
1. Start by connecting
Practice the ability to connect, with yourself and with others. Keep in mind the difference between communication and connection. Communication is simply an exchange of information, but connection is an exchange of our humanity, with ourselves, and with others. Why? Because it is impossible to hurt someone with whom we really feel connected. Malice cannot coexist with connection. Even if we try to entertain the idea of ​​hurting someone with whom we are actually connected, we immediately recoil, horrified at the very idea. Emotional energy is the fuel that powers the connection.
Each individual (except neurological dysfunction) is capable of feeling emotions. We have all felt happy, sad, lonely, excited, confused, scared. . . The spectrum of human emotions is vast and rich. I can't know exactly what you're going through in life, but I do know that you and I have experienced similar emotions. Without emotion, life would be nothing more than a series of mechanical manoeuvres.
2. Be careful what you say to yourself. Practice speaking to yourself with respect and affection, as if you love yourself very much. The power of words is immense and they can transform people and situations in very positive and unimaginable ways. Some words are healing and others can kill us.
3. The body is a powerful but delicate instrument. When those feel-good chemicals are pumping into your brain, you feel good. When you give your body the right fuel, it feels good. Exercise gives us that physical and psychological well-being. Physical confidence is vital to keeping self-sabotage at bay.
4. Focus your focus. The ability to manage your focus, your attention, is one of your greatest powers. What you put your attention on determines what you are going to achieve, how you feel, and what you can handle in life.
5. Get rid of bad influences, those who only look out for your well-being.
6. Take your responsibilities to yourself, be aware and practice to learn and improve. Within the possibilities, be the owner of your life.

Carmen Martinez - Psicóloga y Coaching

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Celia Martínez Psicóloga
Exeter, Devon, England,
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